Protecting Your Space and Energy
Written by Maia Thomas
Graphics by Jasmine Flora
Taking care of yourself is discussed as one of the most important things you should make a priority in life. I’m sure you know, as do I, that is far easier said than done. I for one am terrible at setting aside that time in my own life, and I mean truly setting aside that time where there are no other to-dos. It is and has been a general expectation that to amount to something or be worthy of love, you must put forth a ridiculously straining amount of energy into everything EXCEPT yourself 100% of the time. But why? Why does being miserable have to be the default? Why can’t you focus on a job, education, passion, and relationships while also checking in with yourself frequently?
Warning Signs of an Unprotected Space
Neglecting your space and energy can be minacious. Effects seep into your daily life as things begin to go downhill. With that said, don’t be hard on yourself! Many cues signal an approach to the less than welcome intrusion of emotion and toxicity.
You get burnt out easier and quicker - School and job tasks begin to seem much less manageable. You may find yourself easily distracted and unable to get in a “working” mindset. If it wasn’t a source of struggle previously, procrastination can become a lot more turbulent, leaving assignments and even the smallest of tasks to the very last second.
You find yourself easily irritated - The littlest inconvenience can set off an array of emotions at any moment. You may begin to notice that having conversations with really anybody is hard to handle.
There are toxic people and/or situations present in your life - Toxicity leaves you feeling worthless and sometimes as if you’re watching yourself make fatal decisions from outside a physical state. Whether it be a toxic relationship, friend, family member, or the environment in general, these all hold immense power over mental wellbeing without realizing it at first.
Lack of downtime - Besides not allowing time to take care of yourself internally, it also becomes a lot harder to take that time when there is physically too much on your plate. It can be overwhelmingly easy to take on everything asked of you at once to make others around you happier, however, it can become threatening to the priorities and goals you may have for yourself as an individual.
Physical wear and tear - The physical impacts are important to watch out for as well as mental impacts. Loss of a sleep schedule, aches and pains, and general discomfort can be a sign that you need to slow down and take a break just for yourself.
Consequences of an Unprotected Space and Energy
Ignoring the warning signs your body and mind signal to you can create serious issues that swallow portions of your life without much notice. Both outwardly and internally, these impacts begin to take a considerable toll and can include:
Complete shutdown - Both mentally and physically at this point, you are out of steam. You may see yourself with an extreme lack of care and generally do not have anything in you to keep going. Physical upkeep becomes a burden along with this. Goals and life aspirations can have a somewhat bitter taste, seeming too far out of reach in this state.
Isolation - As discussed previously, reaching out to people becomes bothersome and not worth the time to you anymore. There may no longer be a desire to make that effort, a feeling as if no one cares enough to notice.
How do you avoid all of that?
Once again, everyone seems to go on about how important self-care is, but stands in the way of that or fails to provide resources to do so. Although it is scary to read about what may apply to your personal life and where it might be headed, it is important to recognize that things do get better. There are many, many preventative and restorative measures that can be taken to ensure that your space and energy are protected in the long run.
Establish clear boundaries - I argue that one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to make clear what you want. I know it is easy to become a sore people pleaser, but communication is key! Let the other person know when you want space or time to focus on just yourself, how you are feeling, and what is uncomfortable for you. On the flip side, allow that other person to do the same and respect it.
Remove toxicity from your life whenever possible - Call it out as soon as you can recognize it and when it is safe to. Ensure that it can not and will not impede on your progress as an individual. You are strong, and you will be better off without them.
Journal and/or meditate - Writing your feelings out to something that can’t judge you for it can be extremely therapeutic, and is a good habit to get into. Whether you need to let it all out, track your progress for when you don’t believe you have made any, or use it as a creative outlet, a journal might be your best friend. To accompany that, meditation may also work for you. In general, even if you are not spiritually connected to it, setting aside time to clear headspace can be an entryway to becoming more connected within yourself. (p.s. This doesn’t work for everyone, and that’s ok!)
Therapy - There is NO shame in asking for help when you need it. Opening up to a licensed therapist in at least some capacity only gives you more outlook and options in learning more about individual mental wellbeing. Even if you aren’t struggling with anything specifically, having that person to talk to never hurts.
Surround yourself with people and things you love - Wear what you want! Follow that dream! Make that new recipe you’ve been wanting to try! Whatever it is that makes you happy and driven, do it for yourself. Feed into your passion despite what anyone has to say about it. Alongside that, keep people around that inspire you to move forward and encourage you to be who you are. It may seem cheesy, but it truly does do wonders for bettering yourself.
Regardless of where you are in life right now, wherever this article applies to you, there is always a way to improve that relationship with yourself. This list is by no means a complete end all be all, but I truly hope that it provides insight to you in some way. As always, stay safe and drink plenty of water. <3